Just One Look Forum Archives

Hello,

My name is Sergey, I am from Bulgaria. It works! I can tell this after 2 years experience. How it started. I knew that I am always the same and there is no change in my core - I was remembering a moments of my childhood and it seemed to me that then and now I am always the same. When I have read the Childhood method here. It was like a moment of enlightenment for me, everything was clear! I have tried to look at me and it was done from the first shot. Two days later or three I was feeling great like never before, I can't describe this, my English is not very good. This continued about 2 weeks and then came the worst. I didn't know that there is such thing like "recovery period". In short - a year and half I was in my mental hell. Now I think that fear is here, but now I know him and there is no drama, I just know that he is not me. Or to be clear: Shit happens, but they don't touch me, I just keep moving forward. Before looking I got up every morning with anxiety, easily refused every opportunity, I did not want to even go out for a walk, constantly worried about the future. In the recovery period this was worse. Now it's all gone. Yes, the life is same, but my attitude is not. I want to tell much more about how the looking changes my life but it's not easy for me to do it in English. Just to share, I wish in close future if I have financial opportunity to expand John and Carla's work here in Bulgaria. I think often for this. And in the end, thank you John, thank you Carla, thank you all for this gift. God bless you!

Dear Sergey,

Welcome to our forums! Thank you very much for your report.

Sergey, thank you for sharing. I'm sorry about all the hell. The bigger the fish, the harder the fight. I am 2 months into this thing but since I've been actively using tools for a long time the Looking came along as the answer to a long quest and I've known since the first look that all would be well. But reading accounts like yours is so comforting whenever my character reacts habitually to other characters and unpleasant events. It's more like when my character puts a bogus son on reality, something it has decades of experience with.

Your English is fine. Hope you can read mine. Peace

There's a Seinfeld episode titled 'The Reverse Peephole' that I sometimes laugh about when considering how the looking changed things for me.

I was, like so many searchers, looking in the completely wrong direction, trying to use my mind to free me from my mind's illusion. I knew, by reading teachings from various sages, that transcending duality was 'the goal' but it all remained a fancy dream within a dream, if you know what I mean, which in some ways led me even deeper into confusion.

One simple act, a momentary intentional glimpse of yourself, something you've been seeing your entire life without intention.

Here's to looking at yourself. Cheers.

I find I can identify with much of the above. I am a few weeks into this program of looking as suggested in John's teaching, and the results are good so far. Fear and anxiety are not turned off completely but there is much less mental pain. The recovery period may lie ahead but the importance is that it is recovery. I know about recovery in a different context as an alcoholic,and the good news is that I feel it won't play against the 12-step program I have pursued for the last 5 years in AA. I would be very grateful to hear from people who are doing this alongside a 12-step program.

Thank you.

If you do a search for AA and recovery, you will find many older posts that speak to this subject.

Hi Frank. I have experience from NA when I was in the very beginning of my recovery from the fear of life, the psychological fear that we often talk about here at the forum. I have during the recovery process, that is a result of having looked at myself, seen that the root cause of my addiction (or the addictive personality as NA names it) was to be found in the fear of life.

I remember when I was told in NA that I would have to, to stay out of drugs, follow the program for the rest if my life. I felt deep inside that that was not the case for me. I was of course afraid that that feeling of me trusting my own ability to recover, was one of my old denial's, that so often before had left me in trouble. But not this time. This time it was different. And it would be wrong to say that I healed myself. The looking healed my mind from a psychological fear that controlled my life. Today I only put my trust and faith in my attention.

But I have the deepest respect for both AA and NA. I think the program itself and the sharing and honesty, is one of the really good treatment there is on addiction. And you should of course attend there as long as it feels right. But I suspect that you will, in time, begin to struggle with the feeling that you want to trust yourself in a way that is new to you. No worry. It is a natural part of having looked at yourself.

I will always be of help if you want to talk more about it...

Nice to have you here,

Niklas

Hi Niklas and thank you for your comment. It is much appreciated. I found the 12-step program worked wonders for me once I gave it my full commitment, but the fear and anxiety came back 2 years in. I blamed it on all sorts of things -- a lack of continued commitment, events in time, negative thought life, depression, but I now think it may well be simply that fear of life talked of here re-emerging from a less active state. I will keep my AA life going as I still believe it to be the solution to the problem of my alcoholism.

Thank you also Jack. I will check the other forums.

The improvement since I started looking continues.

I've been in AA for over 5 years and looking for 4 so our background is similar. I still attend regular meetings, work the steps with a sponsor etc, but it is clear that looking at me has done more for my recovery than anything else. I saw early on that mental illness is too primal to be mitigated effectively by using language and thus AA would always be a struggle for me. So when I discovered John's work here I followed his advice with the same "desperation of a drowning man" because for me it had to work. My life depended on it. And I'm now happy to report that for me it has worked.

Steven, I'd like to hear more about your recovery if you have the time and inclination.

Hi Frank, I would say that yes, the looking will definitely go along with the 12-step program. I was involved with alcohol for many years and attended many AA meetings. I got the best results when supported by friends. After doing the act of looking however this interest or need for alcohol simply fell away. I don't know exactly what happened and it wasn't really necessary that I know. The Looking along with the self-directed attention exercise did the trick. I strongly suggest doing the latter, the self-directed attention. It will help to alleviate some of the difficulty during the recovery process i.e. any mental anguish, anxiety over leaving alcohol, etc.

All good things, cheers.