Just One Look Forum Archives

Hi everybody. I did the looking last April, and after about a minute of the "honeymoon," I went straight into recovery. :p The early part was mostly filled wth fear and my reluctance to drop my former spiritual studies. Once I got past that, everything began to settle into a steady pattern. Things would happen in my life--you know, the usual day-to-day stuff we all have to deal with--and I would react in my "normal" neurotic, fearful way. Except now everything was different. My reactions seemed uncalled for, and I could see that I had better choices, both in the way I react to things and how I resolve problems. During this period, it seems as though more stressful situations than usual are popping up, so this is a good chance for me to put self-directed attention into practice (I do the breathing/counting twice a day, but I'm referring to switching my attention in real life situations). To me, JOL/SDA is about growing up (it's about time, since I'm 75! lol). What I'm realizing is that I've spent most of my life trying to avoid anything unpleasant or difficult (often with the excuse "I don't feel like it"), and the result of this is that I have been stagnating here, a prisoner in my own home, for several years. It's all so clear to me now, that my behavior was because of the fear of life.

Here's another thing I've learned. If I do anything to try to escape the difficulties of the recovery period (which I believe operates automatically and irresistibly), it backfires. I'm referring to pampering myself, hiding from my responsibilities, etc. What I'm finding out is that there's no way around this...it's hard, it's unpleasant, and even scary sometimes, but I seriously just have to suck it up and get on with the work. This is undoubtedly the best thing that has ever happened to me, and my gratitude to John and Carla is endless.

Hi, Jazzrascal. I hope I'm not repeating myself but I want so much to be sure to thank you for what you wrote. As you'd know by now, I'm "only" 70 but have gone through pretty much what you describe and it's good to hear from someone in my age cohort because it's reassuring to know that age doesn't stop a person doing this. And one thing I have celebrated is just what you mention, that despite my recent upset (am so obviously still in recovery), I have been so happy I can't tell you that better choices do suddenly appear in my wee brain, sensible (even wise), appropriate options I could never willingly/consciously access in all my previous 40-odd years of trying. I was just so sad and tired of behaving like a well-meaning idiot, and since doing the looking & SDA so much of that is just gone. Anyway, thanks for sharing that so generously. All the best, Carladownunder

Thanks for your kind words, Carla!