Just One Look Forum Archives

Hi. Every time I speak to John, he tells me to come join the forums, so I have. I guess I'll give a short introduction of myself regarding the looking. I found John and Ramana Maharshi at around the same time in 2006. The first attempt yielded huge fireworks. Indescribable bliss, oneness, etc. Of course, that dissipated. There was a short time where I tried and failed to get back to that, until I realized (of course) that it isn't about the light show. It's about the looking. Struggles come and go, and to this day I have not come to a point where I know what it is that I'm actually doing when looking. I still don't have a moment where I say, "Yes, this is it, this is me, here, this is what it feels like to be me. Now I know, and now I can access this easily whenever I want." Usually it's just a kind of a confusing, sometimes frustrating process. John has assured me that it doesn't matter. That the attempt at looking is all that's important. I think I finally believe him.

I am spurned on by the fact that this life, or the beliefs about this life, rather, seem to be totally miserable, and I have had issues with depression and anxiety through my life. So for me, here, for this man, the looking is a way out. It's not noble. And I'm not going to pretend this is some noble search for truth. It isn't. I used to have illusions about that. Now I don't. It's simply because I no longer want to feel bad all of the time. And I know I don't have to. Because in glimpses I have had a few times in my life, I saw and knew that it is easy. That it can be simple. That life isn't out to get us all. And that it's a gift of unknowable grace. So that's that. Hello, everyone. And thanks for being here.

I am relatively new to the forums myself, but let me be the first to welcome you. People are going sane here! What a beautiful thing to be a part of. Thank you for sharing...

LaQuita

You hit the nail on the head for me with that phrase! That is my experience now too. Beliefs are not necessary for me now, but still interesting sometimes. Perhaps even more interesting in some ways now that my mind has so much free time on its hands - not having to worry about getting all my sacred beliefs right...