Just One Look Forum Archives

Namaste to all,

John, I reached a phase where it seems there were no filters to this persona that was emerging and no distance between me and life. And things were happening quite effortlessly. Suddenly though, a kind of confrontation happened with a friend, seemingly due to this inability to 'hold back' and this sense of wanting to just be truthful. My friend was disturbed because of it. And though I was not initially, after a while I found myself slipping into a pattern of worry and wanting to fix things.

I started wondering if I was fooling myself about being sane. I felt I had just gone back to what used to be.

I started looking with renewed fervor, but I found the clear seeing that was the case for me, unable to access. Things did move though. I found some of my responses different than they used to be. But I am still wondering why this happened? I know we do not ever get done with all of this. But I notice that there is a feeling of failure when some old pattern emerges for a while.

Could you comment on this? Did that happen to you or anyone else in the early stages of sanity? I am not sure if this is the right question, but I am asking anyway.

Many thanks,

Abha

aabha,

In response to your question, "Did that happen to you or anyone else in the early stages of sanity?"

Yes, and the thoughts or feelings that occurred around it were consistent with what you share. All just the arising of material from the remaining fear based patterns in the process of departure. The doubt that arises with these experiences could bring up the idea that this is a relapse. This slipping into a pattern of worry is no more than being captivated by specific thoughts that took your attention and manifest as the notion that there is something to worry about.

As John says, While this period is one of discomfort and turmoil at times, it is none other than life as it appears during this period. So it is an opportunity to recognize it as such and notice the tendency to resist it, or want it to be different, or want it to end.

The only relevant frame of reference for this work is YOU, and your reliance on you to use your natural intelligence to move through the reorganization of your persona.

Your doing great! And it will all turn out in the end.

Just stay on here and keep communicating.

Love.

David

Hi Abha,

I just wanted to add my experience to what David said, as a don't think I could say it any better: I recently found myself caught up in a familiar pattern of relationship where I was volunteering my time and effort for a worthy cause, only to have someone grill me with expectations and accusations about my motives. In the past I would have defended my honorable intentions and proceeded to psychoanalyze the situation and perhaps prescribe some kind of philosophical or spiritual cure for myself and my adversary. But this time I didn't say anything, which is similar to your telling the truth in that we both did something out of the ordinary. I am still wondering "why this has happened" too, but, I'm getting used to it happening, and I'm starting to feel much less invested in those everyday occurrences. Thanks for your sharing because it has reminded me of my own progress. You and all of us here are on the road less traveled, IMO!

Like the wind

Mike

Thanks so much for the support and clarity of your own experiences!

This is truly an adventure. And for the first time ever, I am actually looking forward to the unraveling of it, not in some distant or near future, but here.