Just One Look Forum Archives

I am so happy to hear from you john, what you point to means alot to me, and i trust in what you're saying 100%.

i have been into spirituality for years. I have been trying to understand myself for years. Recently there has been a lessening of the seriousness in needing to understand myself and the world--it's like--why have i been so worried about it when I'm still alive, I'm here regardless of what I think about myself and others. I'm not sure if you catch my drift here but it's like, I'm alive anyway. Who cares about my understandings! Hahaha!

And I wanna tell you some things.

It has never felt right that I need to change. It hasn't been a natural thing for me to believe that i need to change in some way to be happy. I am talking fundamentally here. Never has it felt right.

This may sound cynical or something, but I have always known that I'm perfect. It's like I've always been like this. It always felt and feels strange believing that there's something wrong with me, a kind of unnoticed refusal in admitting the beauty of my own life.

It has never really fooled me, even when now I am convinced at times that life's a problem not to be trusted, it is still just the shape that life is taking at that moment. And it can't touch me. and it passes anyway. It's like, in a way, I can't do anything about my life. And I love it.

Whether I understand myself or not, whether I am peaceful or not, whether I am asleep or not--I'm ok. I am comfortable in my own life. I am comfortable in my own hectic, bouncing, stringent, blissful, detached, lonely, smiling, desperate, needy, helpful existence.

So thank you for that for telling me so clearly that All I had to do was notice myself. It was right all along. In a way that I can't really put a finger on, I am no longer worried about the shape of my life. My being scared, my being angry, my being hurt, it all has a fun and lightness to it that I can't explain to anybody.