Just One Look Forum Archives

So what has come about during my involvement with this work is a complete undenial of how present I am throughout my daily affairs. I can no longer separate myself from what's happening, I have become quite simple in a sense, where the needs I used to feel to try to get a fix on my life have vanished, and what is left is a fully evolving and involving story, I call it my life, with which I am completely entranced.

So where am I? How do I take a look at me? Well I am in the clear, being open and obvious; If you look inside any cell of existence that's me; if you turn in any direction that's me; if you take anything and put it in your attention, what you will find is yourself in there, simple and obvious once you get the smell. But here's the thing, I believe that we, as in me, are so not used to noticing our extreme present-ness, that we can't help but try to complicate it. What John talks about is something simple and easy, after all it's you, it's me, always here at all levels, states, experiences, completely open, harmless and free, absolutely unrelentingly obvious and to the point. I am able to write all this stuff because I just look at you and describe you. So that's the truth, it's you, You you you. Just you. So that's where you look--You look at you, yeah?

Love,

Tys22

Lately...

Spirituality is dropping away. It is just a hobby, though one that I thought could save me from unhappiness. I thought that if I try to be like these guys, try to see life like them, understand life like them, that I'd be happy. And I can't say that nothing has been happening, cos it has. I've been changing. Though in some ways I'm more miserable than I was before, I think it is in the realising that 'nah, this stuff ain't doing it for me.'

A big, I think, crutch in all this is that I have found something that I think is working, though in some strange hardly seen way. It comes from the suggestion of a couple named John and Carla Sherman. they too, were in the spiritual business. I think I am now experiencing an escape from the spiritual ghetto - ghetto in the terms that it is a unique faction in life trying to tackle the same dis-satisfaction that is felt in our lives by taking up a certain perspective, or approach. But what I've found is that it doesn't work, or at least, if it does actually work, it is by chance, and for very few.

What John speaks about, and suggests, is something somehow different from all that (If you are interested, read here thefearoflife.org or riverganga.org). His asking of me to look at myself is something that doesn't require anything, any understandings, or any idea of 'spirituality'. I do not call looking at myself 'spiritual'. Or if I do I would not like to call it that. Because it isn't. It doesn't require any understandings. It doesn't require me to change at all...And furthermore...besides that..I think it is actually doing something...the personness of me...the personality that is me..that's what i look at.

How do i think it's effecting me? I don't know, but i think it's related...somehow,,in some what seems like a distant way, i am beginning to feel a subtle resonance with my life. as if, in some way that i don't think i am able to understand, that i am liking and living my life. it sounds weird maybe. In some way that i can't describe my life is becoming quite intimate in me. that kinda says it... Anyway.. i thought I'd tell you..cos I've been going through some rough times lately...k...love Tys

Tys,

It's good to hear that in some subtle way or other things are improving for you. My question is about your first post here, from 2011/07/23. Would you still say that the things you said in that post are valid, or is your new reply (2011/08/20) discrediting them? This "extreme present-ness" and ubiquitous you-ness that you speak of......does this still seem to be helpful and true for you, or are you throwing all that stuff out now?

Would you say that what has happened is that you were assuming you had a safe-hold on this stuff and then disappointingly found out that rough times still assailed you? Because this has happened to me before...actually several times, I think. Anyway, I'd love to hear more about your current relationship to this Presence that you speak of, whether it's helpful or not.

Hey Gerrit. I don't know you see, All the ways i think about my life are in the field of change, but I am not changing. So the emphasis is on me, not on what i say about me. I've said so many things. I can throw everything out now because i don't need anything to be. Words are helpful to get to the point where I see that nothing i can say or do says anything about my nature at all. So i am not discrediting, I am throwing out everything. I know what I am whether I know it or not.

Cool. Well I don't know man, my life jsut is, ya know. Everything and anything i can ever and have ever said about it can only ever be commentary about it, putting it into the language. But I don't need language. You see I'm talking about me, about you. Like that Nisargadatta said 'You are bereft of words'.

The current experience can be put liek this: I was never born, i never took birth, nothing ever moved away from me. There was no search that took place outside of my presence. Etc etc. do you get teh drift of what I am saying? This could be helpful. John Shermans 'Look at you' is helpful. those words. In the end I don't think it'sactually possible to look at myself cos where in the hell am i going to look? I am myself forever, ya know?

Tys

Another report

I'm back here, to report. What can I say about myself? this beautiful appearance? The gap between me and my appearance have closed. The closing of that gap began the moment I, this person, touched myself, the source of me. since then a variety of changes have occurred. I can't remember any of it in much detail. I am 'happy' for lack of a better word. people don't seem to understand me, people often think there is something wrong with me - probably because they haven't yet met someone unencumbered by the neurotic fear that we so often mistake as the person. I don't look at that, sometimes, indeed i can't find it anywhere at all. I look at people, and there is no distance.

I still haven't understood anything. As a matter of fact I have given up the league of understanding. I'll never be able to understand the way I am functioning. Thank you John for such a simple conclusion to all that I felt was wrong with my world, and with myself. Who would have thought it was so simple? I am what I am, I've always been.

Life is a gem of which I dont know anything about. but the difference is I'm no longer scared of it. Let it live. I'm just plain ol' me.

Tys

Awesome

Wow, Tys,

That's really great to hear. You sound really in a good place as a result of this Looking, very alive and at home, bedazzled by life just as John says...not to mention rather poetic ;)

And yes, I understand now exactly what you mean when you talk about You. You just Are. Bereft of words indeed.

Thanks and rock on!

Gerrit