Just One Look Forum Archives

Hi all, my name is Niall and I'm from Dublin, Ireland. When I was a young kid, somewhere between 5 and 7, I'd say I often used to have glimpses of something so vast and loving that I just couldn't really explain them to anyone. Sometimes the glimpses would happen just before I was about to drop off to sleep, it would sometimes be as if a huge thick dark black curtain was drawn back to reveal the vastness, other times the vastness would simply be filled with a radiance that was hard to describe and stunned me, what also always surprised me was how familiar I already was with the experiences, I just knew ''this is what I am'. I'm well into my 50's now but the memory of experiences have always stayed with me and I've always tried to bring them back somehow, without success, although about three years ago without warning while sitting on an exercise machine in the gym I had what I'd call a milder version of the experience, again it was so familiar to me, as if I was finally home. After coming across John and Carla's site and practising the looking for about two weeks now I think what I've been doing over the years in trying to bring about theses experiences again is just really remembering something in my mind's eye and not really looking, if that makes any sense to anyone. Has anyone out there any thoughts on this? Cheers, Niall.

Your account brings some of my experiences to mind. It's normal to try to find explanations for a bit. After awhile, the vastness/wholeness of it all naturally chills out the thoughts about it. All that matters is that we do the looking. The resulting what-ever-you-want-to-call-it will happen and it's like John says, "A Life Turned To Gold". Glad to hear that you did the Looking. Brad

Thanks for the reply Brad, I should have added that sometimes the experience of the black nothingness would leave me completely terrified, my mother would insist it was all a bad dream, somehow I knew it wasn't a dream, it was fundamental and important, even at that young age. These days I'm experiencing a lot of trouble with drink and drugs which the 12 step-programme seems to have been little help with, I notice this seems to be the case with some of the others on the forum and really hope in time as fear subsides life will improve. Again nice to meet you Brad.