Just One Look Forum Archives

Dear John and Carla,

I live in India and have been reading and doing self-inquiry based on Sri Ramana and Nisargadatta Maharaj's words for many years. This has been happening in tandem with other approaches, including the path of devotion which I feel for Devi (the Great Mother).

What is amazing about the looking to me is how simple and direct it is. And like John says, people have been trying to express this for centuries and haven't been able to say this as simply before. I wonder why. All the more, the grace of finding this through your work becomes evident and I'm very grateful to you both.

i think i am going through the unraveling of the apparatus, the process is unfolding I hope. It's odd because the first look for me was so obvious. It felt like everything was so clear and self-evident. It's only after a couple of months now that the pain seems to be catching up. Yesterday there was so much fear and anxiety, and even thoughts of I want to die, which hadn't been around for many many months. It felt like I must be doing this wrong. But the looking was happening and somehow I knew even in the worst moments with absolute certainty that I never used to have, that this would pass. I wonder if that is part of this closing the gap.

I have a question regarding my memories as a child. The sense of the sameness of me, is definitely clear. But also a feeling that somewhere this was so apparent as a child, and as I grew up, it somehow seems to have disappeared. If the wound exists from the time of birth, then why do children seem to be coming from such a place of being right here? There is innocence and simplicity in that space. Is it that growing up, brings conceptualizing and wanting to control and that somehow exacerbates the wound? I am not sure. is this wound linked to the circumstances that come up as you grow older?

Is it possible to clarify some of these things?

I am eternally grateful for this. I will keep going with the looking and will report on what happens. I have told a couple of people about this who can't stomach the fact that it's so simple and also that it seems so difficult at the same time!

Much love,

aabha