Just One Look Forum Archives

Hi Everyone,

I’m reaching out with an observation and a question. I’m noticing that over the past six months, I have seemed to alternate between feeling very "in sync" with the looking and finding that it comes naturally and easy, and then periods of feeling alienated, disconnected with it, "unable to do it." I know this doesn’t make any sense (I'm always here, how could I not be able to look?), but that's just the feel of it.

Has anyone else noticed this kind of pattern? I've noticed that during periods when I'm watching the retreat videos more often that the looking just seems more natural and easier somehow. I just go through periods where I don't have enough free time to watch them and I have another "cycle." Would appreciate any thoughts anyone has about whether their experience has "leveled" out or what has helped them ride the waves of the different experiences. Many Thanks!

Warm regards,

Ansley

Ansley, what's important is not your relationship to the act of looking, but your relationship with your own life. The deliberate act of looking is a means to an end, not a life sentence.

You may or may not notice the simple feel of you always here from time to time, and that can be pleasant, but what means more is whether the war with your life has ended.

John

John,

Thanks so much for responding-- that's incredibly helpful and really re-orients the way I was thinking about all this.

Most of the time I can recognize how much my life has changed for the positive since I began the looking-- at other times, it's more difficult and I guess the fear of life manifests itself in those moments as anxiety about doing the looking "wrong," feeling that it's hard, etc.

Again, thank you.

Ansley

Hi Ansley,

I have found it exceedingly helpful in leveling out the cycle to subscribe to John's podcasts. I put them on my I-pod and listen during my morning walks or anytime I am alone in the car. It's a reminder that looking is available no matter what my day is like. Lera Jane